After a month, here I am again writing something here in my blog. Well, I guess this blog is just a mirror of what I'm going through now. I don't know if you noticed it guys, but my blog doesn't share happy moments of my life...all in all....it's EMO...it's all EMO...the nonsense drama of my life...it shares the emo moments of my damn whatever life. As what they say, if there's no emo...then I will not be the Nikka they used to know. I actually hate it to behave this way...I have the choice I know that. But I guess, the emotional part of me keeps this blog updated... :(
Just wanna share this...because I don't have the chance to tell you this:
"You just don't know how much I am hurt. Why are you hurting me this much? Do I deserve this? Why did you have to show and let me feel that you still love me? I've been through this, and you know that. I really hate myself so much for allowing this damn self to love you again, for giving another chance. For letting me feel that with each passing day I need you more...but the fact is...you don't need me at all. Now I am the loser again! I am not a game...but why am I being played for many times? You don't have any idea what I really feel right now. I don't know where to stand. I really hate you for doing this to me again. If you fall out of love for me...just tell me honestly. Nakakainis na kasi! I am the only one who is hurt. I've already learned to let you go. I've learned to forget you. But why? Why did you gave me reasons not to? Now, you're turning your back again, leaving me behind. Don't you think you're so unfair? I can feel it already, so why don't you just tell it to me? Ako lang naman ang nasasaktan, ako lang ang umaasa at ako lang ang nagmumukhang tanga. Please, will you just tell it to me frankly? Kasi ang sakit-sakit na. How I wish I can be as invisible as what you make me feel...:( Now, I believe the truth that every guy is gonna hurt me... I just have to decide who is worth the pain. I really pity myself so much for believing in every word you said...God knows how much you still mean everything to me...but it's just not worth the fight anymore. I wish I'm stronger than I thought I am...So I could end up this heart-burden story of mine."
"You just don't know how much I am hurt. Why are you hurting me this much? Do I deserve this? Why did you have to show and let me feel that you still love me? I've been through this, and you know that. I really hate myself so much for allowing this damn self to love you again, for giving another chance. For letting me feel that with each passing day I need you more...but the fact is...you don't need me at all. Now I am the loser again! I am not a game...but why am I being played for many times? You don't have any idea what I really feel right now. I don't know where to stand. I really hate you for doing this to me again. If you fall out of love for me...just tell me honestly. Nakakainis na kasi! I am the only one who is hurt. I've already learned to let you go. I've learned to forget you. But why? Why did you gave me reasons not to? Now, you're turning your back again, leaving me behind. Don't you think you're so unfair? I can feel it already, so why don't you just tell it to me? Ako lang naman ang nasasaktan, ako lang ang umaasa at ako lang ang nagmumukhang tanga. Please, will you just tell it to me frankly? Kasi ang sakit-sakit na. How I wish I can be as invisible as what you make me feel...:( Now, I believe the truth that every guy is gonna hurt me... I just have to decide who is worth the pain. I really pity myself so much for believing in every word you said...God knows how much you still mean everything to me...but it's just not worth the fight anymore. I wish I'm stronger than I thought I am...So I could end up this heart-burden story of mine."
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